1. How do you integrate your interdisciplinary background of both music and psychology work?

I don’t feel that I have to try to bring music and psychology together. It comes naturally; each discipline can’t help but inform the other. When I am conducting a therapy session, emotional channels open up. These channels in turn feed my creative practice. Writing music also stirs up many internal experiences and questions, which my psychological mind shapes into new emotional understandings over time. The dialogue is ongoing.

2. Estrangement from a family member or friend is a kind of death which you explore in your work. Could you tell us more about this and yor upcoming EP Autopsy?

On New Years Day 2025, I sent an email to my family explaining why I no longer want to have a relationship with my father. I laid bare the harm he caused me, acknowledging also the beautiful memories with him that I still hold. But my main point was this: unchecked cruelty like his festers and slowly kills even (or perhaps especially) the most loving parts of a human bond so that in the end, the only self-preserving option is to let the relationship die.

Four months later, I had written and recorded Autopsy, my debut solo EP that deals with this loss. As its title suggests, the album peels back the layers of the relationship and examines what went wrong. Naively, I did not expect that so much of the emotional innards I uncovered during this procedure would turn out to be my own–parts of myself that had effectively died. In reality, these parts of me had merely been playing dead for years in order to keep the sick relationship with my father alive. As I dug deeper, my vivid reactions to the malignant cruelty–reactions which had previously been infected by silence–found expression through music.

There is a murkiness to the sound of Autopsy. I feel it reflects the confusion that accompanies the particular kind of death embodied by estrangement. I kept asking myself, why is this happening? Does it have to happen at all? Some clarity came when making the last track of the EP, which is an unabashed breakup song. Not surprisingly, it was easier to put words to the loss of a romantic relationship with someone who was in many ways a proxy for my father (aren’t they all though? Just ask the psychologist…) than it was to sing directly about the core parental loss. For me, they are of a piece.

My New Year’s resolution for 2026 is to release Autopsy into the world, which feels like the final step in letting go of emotional decay and reclaiming my vitality. This album is the living, breathing creative outgrowth of that New Years email, which was so hard and so necessary to write.

3. I imagine the loss of a nurturing parental figure would make your relationships to mentors even more meaningful. How has the loss of mentors, specifically women mentors who reflect your own life experience, affected your artistry?

Seeing women as leaders gives me a sense of belonging. It essentially confirms, “what they’re doing is possible for you.” The more women mentors I’ve had, the more that sense has become internalized. Still, it was a long time before I felt I could take myself seriously as a composer. Obviously brilliant female composers have always existed, but coming from a traditional Classical Music background, I didn’t know about them until relatively recently. This is a kind of death that I mourn often: the loss of female voices in the “standard” Classical Music canon. Yes, there are the token few, but when I think about the actual proportion of which gender’s music was given a platform and studied in school and which gender’s wasn’t, I feel wretched. Like when someone important to you dies, and it’s as if they take a piece of you with them.

Before I ever entertained the idea of becoming a composer, I fell in love with music through the violin. A pivotal figure in my early music education was my first female mentor and violin teacher, Anne Crowden. She believed in me and gave it to me straight–in my opinion, a necessary combo in a mentor. Above all, she modeled a confident and wise female musician.

I was in high school when she died. It was such a huge loss that I couldn’t process it at the time. Almost twenty years later, a literal watershed moment in my personal therapy hit when I unexpectedly broke down sobbing while talking about her death–what a relief! My inability to mourn her loss for so long (against the backdrop of lost female voices throughout Western musical history) prevented me from leaning into my own artistry. Through my grief, however, my determination not to lose what Anne had given me overtook my wretchedness. Processing her death counterintuitively allowed Anne to become more a part of me than before, allowing me to re-embody her (my) passion and spunk. Now, I feel closest to Anne when I’m composing, and she mentors me to this day.

Justine Leichtling is a composer, violinist, and psychologist living in Brooklyn. She writes unabashedly emotional music that combines acoustic instruments, voice, and electronics to evoke the raw sounds of our beautiful/ugly/tragic/joyous/hysterical human condition. Originally from San Francisco, Leichtling earned her BA in Computing and the Arts from Yale University, her PsyD in Clinical Psychology from the Wright Institute, and her MM in Composition from Mannes School of Music. In addition to composing and performing, she maintains a psychotherapy practice. Leichtling often explores psychological themes in her music and seeks to capture emotional truth through sound—a lens that is strikingly evident in her forthcoming EP, Autopsy. In her free time, you can find her attending live shows, writing poetry, running in Prospect Park, or biking around the city.

You can listen to Justine’s Music and Support her work at:

https://www.justineleichtling.com/music

ECHO GLASS later developed into broader themes in collaboration with Wendy, the dancers and other singers. The performance includes four live singers carrying their voices through architectural space, navigating the tangible feeling of their voices bouncing off the surfaces around them. Meanwhile, the dancers play various species-blending creatures (also navigating space through touch and echo).

ECHO GLASS began as a reflection on how both my sense of sound and touch have compensated where my vision has lacked. We have so much to learn from loss. What I’m referring to are the tiny deaths that we encounter throughout life. Illnesses or disabilities that chip away at any illusions of immortality. If we observe carefully, a pattern emerges. Loss brings renewal, a space where something is lacking brings newness, or adaptability, with time.

And there is also an element of trust. When we lose some ability we are forced to be vulnerable and lose some control. This evolution towards self-awareness of my own imperfections has taken me many years to accept. I was taught to mask, to fit in, to do everything just like everybody else and if I could not keep up it was because I just wasn’t trying hard enough. I internalized this way of being in the world for so long.

Fast forward, as an adult, I’m taking more time to advocate for my needs. I’ve trained my service dog Pepper to assist me with tasks such as space navigation. Where my perception lacks hers picks up. We complete each other’s daily experience of the world. This introduces an interspecies connection which I could have never imagined tapping into had it not been for the partial loss of my sight.

ECHO GLASS, as a music composition has grown through my collaboration with the dancers. The product has evolved into a whimsical world which doesn’t sit in the past or the future. It’s a world where the perception of animals, plants and humans doesn’t sit in a hierarchy but rather a web of support systems where each perception and each experience of the world is both valued and held precious.

ECHO GLASS champions the essential value and preciousness of all sentience. Just as nature embraces the divergence of every creature and perception, so too must we find a place for the variations in human experience and understanding. The work encourages a vital shift in consciousness: one where our imperfect, mortal existence is not just acceptable, but fundamental to the well-being and thriving of the whole. Interdependence is created by need, and need arises from what is lacking.

Hope to see you at the live performances of ECHO GLASS. You can purchase TICKETS at this link.

Tickets 🎟️

At age 83, Meredith Monk is an artist who has enjoyed great success and recognition within her lifetime. She acknowledges how special a circumstance that is, that many artists do not get a chance to enjoy. She is still exploding with ideas and what seems like boundless amounts of energy and focus. But even our great mentors and teachers are mortal. Meredith shared some reflections that she had on her own aging process through a Q&A session.

Meredith acknowledged that she can’t quite predict how her voice will work anymore. She doesn’t have the endurance she feels she once did both as a movement artist and as a singer, but she still feels the urge to create and explore just as freshly as ever. Bringing her art forth into the world had always felt like a great responsibility, almost teetering on a burden. She is questioning how to release that burden, wind down, and pass the torch onto the next generation.

Musicians and creatives fight endlessly for new opportunities and for their voices to be heard in the world. But what does it look like to wind down? It’s the stark opposite of the hustle we are all so used to engaging in. What does it look like to shift our goal away from performance, external validation, and recognition towards a cultural conversation which could live on well beyond our physical existence?

As a teaching artist myself, this weekend made me reflect on how we artists achieve lasting legacies through building community and embedding what we have found inspiring into the memories of others. This weekend retreat was truly a space to both shed, loosen our grips, and to plant tiny seeds for new growth towards the future no matter where we currently sit within the cycle of life and death.

Just as echo is lingering sound and shadow is the imprint of light, our legacies are the surplus of life.

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE

RSVP

Sunday December 7th
2:00PM
Maple Grove Cemetery
127-15 Kew Gardens Road
Kew Gardens, Queens, NYC
11415
FREE AND OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

FREE Parking | Fully Accessible Building
Reception After Event

Sponsored by the Human Impacts Institute and the Friends of Maple Grove.

Music and the Ecology of Cemeteries
Sunday December 7th at 2:00PM Sound and Memory
will present a live music program and workshop exploring green burial practices and eco-friendly rituals. Led by End of Life Doula, Violinist and Music Composer Concetta Abbate. In this program we will discuss the value of cemeteries as green community spaces, cultural centers and historical sites. We will learn what eco burial options are available at Maple Grove Cemetery (Queens, NYC) and we will explore our philosophical connections to nature through life and death. Each topic will be interwoven with a live musical offering and reflection. This program is sponsored by the Human Impacts Institute and the Friends of Maple Grove.

If you’re seeking music for a funeral or memorial service in honor of a loved one, feel free to reach out. Sound & Memory creates custom music programs across genres. You can learn more about our live music offerings at this link.

Memorial Music Offerings

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE

I thought back to the pigeons nesting in the flower pots on my fire escape. The baby pigeons are born in pairs but earlier that week one of the baby pigeons in the flower pot died. Both the parents came in the morning to remove the dead chick and then sat vigil with the remaining surviving baby all day. I was amazed, watching this scene, how animals know so instinctively how to respond to death.

Our planet is dying and we humans are searching for collective action on how to respond. How do we adequately grieve the species and biosystems that have already been lost? How do we preserve and protect what remains? Only 4% of the earth’s mammals and 29% of the earth’s birds are still considered wild life (https://ourworldindata.org/wild-mammals-birds-biomass). Without spaces for wild animals and plants to thrive where will we even be able to look for such precious learning and inspiration?

My ideal future is one where we accept the limitations of this mortal life and embrace the freedom that allows us to act with urgency inspired by our values to stand up for both human and more than human life. I hope for a future where we think collectively in a framework which includes plants, animals and biosystems. A world where we no longer view disease, disability and death as a personal failing, fault or weakness but a part of this vulnerable life. A world where we make health care accessible for all to ease the pain and suffering of existence. A world without needless violence and climate destruction.

How did our ancestors honor death? How did we make space for death in the past? When we allow death to occur naturally it makes space for regeneration, keeps the planet in balance and gives life. By evading death we engage in endless consumption, trying to numb ourselves of the temporality of time.

Recognizing our own limited time shows us the limited resources of the planet and helps us recognize the preciousness of each object, each material, each building and structure. Let’s preserve and not take life for granted in the same way that the wild pigeons on my NYC fire escape protected their surviving baby chick and treated the deceased with honor and care.

The poet Jorie Graham once says in the interview that, “The Earth is a Dying Beloved”. I would take that one step further to say that our dying, beloved Earth is ALSO a dying US. Humanity cannot exist in isolation just as life cannot exist without a healthy understanding of death.

If you’re seeking music for a funeral or memorial service in honor of a loved one, feel free to reach out. Sound & Memory creates custom music programs across genres. You can learn more about our live music offerings at this link.

Memorial Music Offerings

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE

“What happens when we talk openly about death? In this episode of Guided Transitions, we sit down with death doula and musician Concetta Abbate to have honest, meaningful conversations about mortality. We explore what it means to be a death doula, why confronting the end of life can make living more meaningful, and how a cemetery can become a place of connection, reflection, and even comfort.”

-Mandy +Zoe

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE

1. How have grief and loss impacted your songwriting process?

It was the sudden and traumatic loss of my brother as a young teen that gave me the compulsion to explore writing music for the first time. My inner world got re-arranged and my daily thoughts were no longer on stable ground. Playing the piano went from a chore to a deep exploration, a way to gently interface with tangled, locked up feelings in a safe, abstract context. I certainly wasn’t doing this on purpose, I was just a kid doing what felt good, but I’m grateful to have discovered those tools which I’ve continued to use the rest of my life.

Fast forward fifteen years and my first proper album, Love’s Crushing Diamond, was a culmination of the inward looking and mending from that tragedy and the addictions that stalked my family long afterwards. I was trying to learn to not feel helpless when confronted by the suffering of loved ones. I was especially concerned with how to not succumb to hopelessness and nihilism without resorting to a hollow “everything will be alright”.

As I started writing that record the lyrics were quite bleak but with each revision little glimmers of insight made surprise appearances. I started writing about the beauty that always arises, even just for a second, alongside suffering. I started honing in on the impermanent, transient nature of all moments and matter, which felt really freeing at the time. It probably comes as no surprise that I eventually found my way to Buddhism, haha.

2. As a listener of your music I am always amazed at how seamlessly you connect the personal experience of loss with the universal experience of loss. How do you see your personal narrative tied to the collective?

After the modest success of Love’s Crushing Diamond it took a couple albums to develop what I was trying to say. I wanted to expand the scope of my lyrics beyond personal but writing about the external world can be trickier than one’s own felt experience. I found myself trying to hone my politics of the collective, to study ecology more closely, to brush up on people’s histories to put our times in clearer context. But even today as I go down these research holes, the songs don’t feel genuine without it synthesizing with my own experience.

I think I scratched the surface of the personal/universal nonduality with Thunder Follows The Light, which was written during the stomach-churning early moments of first Trump presidency, but Growing at the Edges was the album where I was more able to articulate the echoes and porousness of inner and outer worlds. It started to occur to me that with climate change there was no way forward without a deep loss of what we are used to. Action or the failure to act will both lead to our way of life dramatically changing. It is naturally a scary prospect but I found the perspective that things will always change as a baseline way to not feel anxious every day.

It goes back to impermanence, we often think of “loss” as something negative and unpleasant. But every second of our lives there is gain and loss on all sorts of levels- cellular, thought patterns, even just the flow of breathing. With the songs on Growing at the Edges I started seeing connections between things like controlled burns of the California forests to protect against forest fires with our own need to let go of flawed, destructive perspectives and opinions.

3. Are there any specific songs that you wrote that are a reflection of your grief process?

Strong Swimmer, the final song off of Love’s Crushing Diamond was a very cathartic song for me to write. It contains my grief but also has a sense of acceptance of the river of time’s ever-present flow. We can constantly train ourselves and do all we can to exercise control over our lives but the river is always flowing quite indifferently to many of our efforts. This is a tricky idea, I’m not saying our lives have no meaning or that we shouldn’t try. In fact, this idea has helped me be more present and able to act day to day. I’m reminded of a Zen exercise where you imagine sitting next to a river and watching each thought and emotion drift by without attaching to it. Strong Swimmer was an early way of trying to articulate that before I had words for it.

More recently, Wasteland Companions from Growing at the Edges was a different kind of grief mixture. It was inspired by a trip to LA where I took a hike with a friend to see a favorite vista without knowing until we got to the top that most of the trees in the valley had burnt down from a forest fire. This was years ago before forest fires were as rampant as they are now. I was so disturbed that a whole forest could disappear. As part of processing this surreal loss, I was pulled back to the present, back to imagining everything around us as, yes, impermanent but also miraculous in its ordinary existence. The co-arising of those two ideas is probably the biggest part of my music project.

4. What special qualities do you think that music has to help us process complex emotions around death?

I think of writing music as a creative flow. As the writer unblocks, music will naturally arise and hopefully connect with people. Also as part of this flow, I think it pulls up bits from the unconscious to integrate back into our conscious selves. I write albums very slowly but I find the process itself to be transformative. Many times I return to a past work and find new or updated meanings in some of the lyrics that, at the time, I wasn’t quite sure about but trusted my intuition to include.

The connection with others and the dredging up of tangled or hidden thought patterns is a powerful way to process. I find that musical exploration on an instrument feels nonlinear in a way where I can let feelings arise and dissipate without committing them to words and forcing them into a conceptual framework. Other than art, there aren’t many ways I know of to do this. With this sort of “play” during improvised music we can let go of the word “should” that pops up over and over again during grief and let things simply “be” in a nonjudgemental space. It is in that space where a lot of healing has happened in my life.

Mutual Benefit is the sprawling chamber folk project of Brooklyn songwriter Jordan Lee. For over a decade, he has crafted pop experiments that are uniquely comforting but willing to stare down life’s more difficult existential quandaries. His lush songwriting is often pieced together over several years, inspired by the hellos and goodbyes and blurred landscapes of life in flux. As a writer for The New Yorker heard it, “Bells and flutes and strings blend with basic rock instruments; vocal arrangements pulse and flow, and the result shimmies beyond the fence of the familiar.”

Sound & Memory, founded by violinist/composer and certified Death Doula Concetta Abbate, is a music and arts memorial service that provides personalized memorial offerings including live music, original music compositions, recordings and workshops. We explore innovative ways to incorporate music into contemporary rituals for both grief and death, as tradition evolves over time. Our belief is that music has the power to strengthen communities facing the loss of a loved one by evoking the legacy of that person's life.

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE

When we organize those sounds to create a musical compositions we give meaning to those memories. We craft compositional narratives of our lives using both sound and word, weaving the most salient events.

REGISTER AT THIS LINK

Your Life in Song: Crafting Personal Narratives Through Music with Concetta Abbate

Adirondack Center for Writing Online Workshop - Held via Zoom/Google Classroom

July 1, 2025: Tuesday, 7-8 PM (EST)

July 8, 2025: Tuesday, 7-8 PM (EST)

July 15, 2025: Tuesday, 7-8 PM (EST)

July 22, 2025: Tuesday, 7-8 PM (EST)

July 29, 2025: Tuesday, 7-8 PM (EST)

REGISTER AT THIS LINK

REGISTER AT THIS LINK

This inclusive songwriting workshop welcomes everyone—from complete beginners to seasoned musicians. The only requirement is your willingness to explore your own experiences through sound and words.

In this workshop, students will compose an original song that authentically captures their personal narratives, beginning with a collaborative playlist of participants' meaningful musical selections as inspiration.

Students will explore the connection between everyday sounds and musical composition, translating common auditory experiences into melodies and rhythms. The course examines essential musical elements alongside how lyrics interact with these components to create emotional resonance.

Students will develop practical songwriting skills while discovering how their natural understanding of sound enhances their creative expression, culminating in an original song that tells their unique story.

Workshop Highlights:

• Create an original song based on personal experiences

• Analyze how lyrics and musical elements work together

• Translate everyday sounds into musical ideas

• Build fundamental songwriting skills across genres

  REGISTER AT THIS LINK

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  If you’re seeking music for a funeral or memorial service in honor of a loved one, feel free to reach out. Sound & Memory creates custom music programs across genres. You can learn more about our live music offerings at this link.

  Memorial Music Offerings

  ---

  ⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

  ⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

  ⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

  Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

  DONATE

Sunday June 22nd
2:00PM
Maple Grove Cemetery
127-15 Kew Gardens Road
Kew Gardens, Queens, NYC
FREE and Open to the Public

LINK TO RSVP

Join the Sound and Memory Chamber Music Ensemble for a beautiful concert at Maple Grove Cemetery where we explore funeral music that is ancient, contemporary and modern. A wonderful reflective multi-genre music program led by End of Life Doula and music composer Concetta Abbate.

Featuring members of the Sound and Memory Chamber Music Ensemble
Concetta Abbate -Violin/Voice
Adrienne Baker -Flute
Kika Wright -Bassoon
Patricia Santos -Cello
Charlie Rauh -Guitar

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE

LISTEN ON YOUTUBE

“Do you love music? Would you incorporate some in your funeral or memorial service? Music can make or break a memorial service and can change the mood in an instant”

-Funeral Celebrant Jennifer Muldowney, founder of the Glam Reaper Podcast

LISTEN on YOUTUBE

LISTEN on APPLE PODCASTS

LISTEN on SPOTIFY

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE

1. How has your music practice evolved throughout your life in relation to loss or grief?

I wasn’t conscious of it at the time, but when I first started writing and performing music in my teens and early 20s, it was my way of processing and transmuting grief. One of the earliest times I felt this on a collective level was in college, playing a house concert with my band Moonraker just a few days after 9/11. The weight of that moment was immense, but the energy in that house basement felt transcendent. Looking back now, I can see that we were holding space for ourselves and others to grieve.

As I got older, it became a more conscious channel. In my early 30s, my best friend lost her mother tragically, and witnessing her pain broke my heart. I wrote two songs in honor of her mom and the depth of their connection—those songs ended up on my next two records. It was my way of offering something public and lasting, both to comfort her and to affirm that I would never forget her mother or the weight of that loss.

Now in my 40s, music has helped me process the passing of my grandmother—the first person who ever sang to me. She died while I was working on my latest project, Greater Mysteries, which guides audiences through a mythic journey of death and rebirth. Her passing felt like another invitation to enter the underworld and having that project to channel my grief into meant everything. As I move toward my 50s, I’m feeling that the relationship between my music and grief will only continue to deepen. I now hold the view that grief and loss are not only inevitable but also openings—opportunities for transformation. This belief is the overarching theme of Greater Mysteries and what I will continue to explore in both my creative work and my life.

2. We’d love to hear more about your work with performing music in caves. What does sound in a cave convey that is different from other spaces? How does the practice of performing music in caves reflect your grief process or ability to process death anxiety and mortality?

I’m drawn to caves as ancient spaces of initiation—sites where cultures throughout time have enacted rites of passage that mirror the death process. Caves connect us to death not as something to fear, but as a natural part of the life cycle. They embody the womb and the tomb— we are held by the earth, and reminded where we come from and where we return.

Sonically, caves offer what I crave in a live music experience: total immersion. The acoustics stretch and echo, dissolving the boundaries between sound and silence. There's a reverence in how the tones linger, making space for reflection. Performing in caves strips away distraction and invites a deeper listening. For me, it’s become a sacred practice—one that allows transformation to move through in a way that feels supported, witnessed, and timeless.

3. Both death and mourning are a community process. How does your music practice engage in community to enrich both quality of life as well as quality of death for yourself or others?

Greater Mysteries has been a deeply communal effort. For me, experiencing how the entire project has evolved through each person’s contributions—from the music to the ritual elements to the upcoming cave performances—has been profoundly fulfilling and life-giving. It’s become something far richer than I ever could have created alone. Over 30 people have contributed to the album and performances, and my hope is that working on a project centered on transformation invites everyone involved to reflect on their own relationship to death and change.

The project also features the Mid-Hudson Valley Threshold Choir, which I’m a member of. Our purpose is to bring songs of comfort to those who are dying. Singing at the bedside during such a tender passage has been some of the most meaningful work of my life. Using my voice in service to this moment in the life cycle transforms everyone involved—the person passing, their loved ones, and us as singers. Together, we connect with the luminous mystery that surrounds us at the threshold.

Kelli Scarr is an American singer, composer, and multi-instrumentalist based in New York's Hudson River Valley. She is also the founder of Vera Jean Music, a pioneering record label dedicated to championing the talents of women artists over the age of 40. On June 13, 2025, she unveils Greater Mysteries, an immersive album and performance experience that draws on timeless mythic journeys to the underworld. Born during an artist residency in Crete and recorded in Iceland, it serves as an invitation into the initiatory cycle of transformation—where endings become beginnings, and something new is ready to emerge. The spirit of improvisation animates a richly textured soundscape, where transcendent piano, airy woodwinds, and Scarr’s voice meet the earthy pulse of the rhythm section and the spark of surprise guests. The project unfolds through intimate previews in the Hudson Valley this summer, culminating in immersive cave performances at Widow Jane Mine on September 26 & 27, 2025.

Learn More About Kelli’s Work

www.kelliscarr.com

Instagram @KelliScarr

Sound & Memory, founded by violinist/composer and certified Death Doula Concetta Abbate, is a music and arts memorial service that provides personalized memorial offerings including live music, original music compositions, recordings and workshops. We explore innovative ways to incorporate music into contemporary rituals for both grief and death, as tradition evolves over time. Our belief is that music has the power to strengthen communities facing the loss of a loved one by evoking the legacy of that person's life.

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE

RSVP for May 4th

Music to Be Remembered By is a live music program in which we explore the transformative power of music to bring communities together around grief and loss. We consider ways in which we can communicate how we want to be memorialized to our friends and family giving them the power to honor our legacy and values.

This concert will feature members of the Sound & Memory ensemble as a quintet featuring violin, voice, cello, flute, bassoon and guitar.

This salon concert will take place at a private historic Long Island home located in East Islip, New York. You will receive the venue address when you RSVP to the event.

Learn more at our website www.soundandmemory.com

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE

DONATE

How has your music practice taken on a different meaning as you grow older?

For the past two years I’ve been meditating and thinking more about death and how fast the time goes. Through creating and playing music I feel very connected to these thoughts. Music makes me feel grateful and appreciative of the present moment. I know we, as working musicians, have to play all kinds of different music but it is important to also explore those sounds that really inspire us. Life is not perfect for anyone but we can do our best to feel satisfied with the life we are given.

Do you have fear, anxieties or questions about death? How has your music practice helped you confront these feelings?

Music helps me connect to the present moment when I start ruminating too much about the past or future.These past two years I’ve had many questions and concerns, especially about the past death of family members and wondering where they are now. I feel afraid of death but also am curious to learn about how to manage that fear. Anxiety and fear come, for me, because I don’t know for certain what is after death. I think there are different truths for different people and all are valid. My theory is that death is not the end of life, it is just a different kind of existence.

Is there any advice you’d like to share with younger musicians pursuing music?

If there is any advice I can give to younger musicians it would be to educate yourself as much as you can. There are different kinds of education. It doesn’t all come from the music academy. In the present day musicians need more knowledge of the world than just how to play their instruments. We need to carry a relevant message that supports and uplifts our music practice. As independent musicians we manage our own careers and we must be both mentally and spiritually prepared for the challenge. We must keep our soul and creativity at the heart of our work. I’m not really good about keeping up with technology and administration but it’s best to be prepared in those logistical aspects as well.

Geovanni Suquillo grew up in Valle de Los Chillos - Quito Ecuador. Being surrounded by mountains and nature influenced his personality and creative focus. Geo began playing music as a teenager starting with folk music instruments like zampoñas, quenas and charango. After a few years he chose the guitar as his academic focus. He moved to New York City in 2003, where he performs, composes and teaches. Geo has been an active musician in NYC’s Music Under NY program and has performed internationally in Folk Music Festivals. He was recently a featured artist in the Composers Now Festival. He teaches Andean folk music to children of Andean descent through the InTempo music school.

Learn more about Geo’s music in Youtube and Instagram!

YouTube: @GeovanniSuquillo

IG: @GeoRumba

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE

DONATE

“In most cases the loss of a partner or someone close to you causes some ripples in the human net around you, that is your social network or team. It doesn’t affect what is the core of you, but it does affect your relationship to the community. You can lean on your team for support”

1. Do you think music helps us engage with complex and difficult topics such as grief?

The use of music, or silence, in end of life ritual seems very culturally specific. When it comes to grief, everyone’s response will be different, and will be expressed in some form. Those steeped in cultural traditions different from our own may elaborately express their grief in a manner that you or I might not notice or understand but music is certainly part of humanity’s toolkit for responding to grief.

In my case, it was the act of making music in an ensemble as part of a support network which helped me to respond to the loss of my late wife Deena. Music making gave me an opportunity to explore the ways in which Deena influenced me as an artist. My art is not intentionally a tribute to her but a product of our deep artistic collaboration for many years.

2. How has grief and loss changed your approach to music making?

I don’t think it has changed my approach so much as re-affirmed my approach to music making.

What comes to mind is Hasibrari, a music composition which I wrote in 2007 or 2008 shortly after my wife Deena died. My wife Deena was the founder of Arts Indonesia, a skilled dancer versed in a variety of Indonesian dance forms and styles. Among her achievements was the founding of Gamelan Kusuma Laras in NYC. I joined the gamelan shortly after its founding and remained a member until a few months after her death in 2005.

I was a skilled player in the ensemble and learned how to play several of the panerusan instruments, the most complex instruments in the central Javanese tradition. Among the musical forms I learned to play were patetans. I think it is safe to say that there is nothing in the Western musical tradition that is organized quite like a patetan.

Deena was a remarkable organizer and impresario. She made things happen around her, created events out of thin air. She frequently did this for me, and as her health deteriorated she was unable to continue to do that, and for a couple of years after she died I spent a fair amount of time making sure my scores and recordings were archivable but not working with many other artists and not composing any new material.

When my colleague Dan Goode asked me to create a piece for The Flexible Orchestra a few years later, what I created was a patetan of sorts, scored in a way no gamelan music ever would be, but incorporating a few of the salient organizing principles of the patetan musical form. I didn’t think of it this way at the time, but Hasibrari is a tribute to Deena.

I’m not sure it's fair to say that I didn’t create much for a couple of years because I was grieving, and I don’t think it's fair to say that Hasibrari is a statement about that grief, but that piece relaunched my career as a composer. Same old me working at the very edges of a musical tradition, or perhaps in the space where a few disparate traditions intersect so not transformative in the sense of embarking on a new path, but feeling restored and re-committed after a period of loss.

3. Do you have any reflections to share with a musician or an artist facing a major loss?

My wife Deena and I were a team, significant players amongst the cohort of musicians and dancers that we worked on various projects together. Losing a member of the team means the team must change. But the structure of the team remains.

In many cases other people can step in and allow the team to keep functioning. Sometimes a team can’t maintain its former activities. In Deena’s case there wasn’t another dancer skilled enough at various Indonesian dance traditions who could lead Bali-Java Dance Theater and so the dance company died with Deena.

Sometimes a team re-orients when someone leaves. Deena had performed with the musical group Gamelan Son of Lion several times when she was alive. I had only performed with them once but joined as a long term member after Deena was gone. Through the community this group provided, I have made other connections.

In most cases the loss of a partner or someone close to you causes some ripples in the human net around you, that is your social network or team. It doesn’t affect what is the core of you, but it does affect your relationship to the community. You can lean on your team for support.

Bio
Skip La Plante invents, builds, composes for, performs on and teaches with musical instruments built from trash and found objects. His favorite food is wild raspberries. About 200 of his compositions have been presented professionally, nearly all created for solo performer or ensembles playing largely if not entirely instruments he built. About half of those compositions were created for small modern dance troupes including a long collaboration with choreographer Wendy Osserman. Many of the rest were created for new music ensembles including Music for Homemade Instruments (1975-2005) and Gamelan Son of Lion (2006-present). The American Festival of Microtonal Music has presented about a dozen of his compositions. His instruments have been exhibited at The Smithsonian Institution, PS 1, The Library for the Performing Arts, Materials for the Arts, New Music America and elsewhere. Skip has appeared on Mr. Rogers Neighborhood and worked with Joseph Chaikin and Sam Shepard on several theater projects. As a teaching artist he has appeared in about 1700 programs with Bash the Trash, Carnegie Hall, Young Audiences NY, Materials for the Arts, Brooklyn Philharmonic, Open Classroom Collaborative and others. Skip is a classically trained bass player also spent two years in Java, Indonesia studying gamelan performance and instrument construction,

Listen to Skip's Music and learn about his process for building his musical instruments at this link!

Listen to Skip's Music

If you’re seeking music for a funeral or memorial service in honor of a loved one, feel free to reach out. Sound & Memory creates custom music programs across genres. You can learn more about our live music offerings at this link.

Memorial Music Offerings

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE

Say Farewell the Irish Way ☘️
Tuesday March 11th
6:30-9:30PM
Greenwood Cemetery
Modern Chapel
25th Street
Brooklyn, NY
11232

Sound & Memory founder Concetta Abbate will be offering a live performance of violin and voice for this special event at Greenwood Cemetery. The event can count as a continuing education credit for funeral directors but is also open to the public.

This course offering on natural burial practices and Irish funeral traditions will be led by Funeral Director Amy Cunningham and Funeral Celebrant Jennifer Muldowney.

RSVP

Music, Loss and Love
Sunday March 23rd, 2025
10:30AM
South Nassau Unitarian Universalist Congregation
228 S Ocean Ave
Freeport, Long Island
11530

Join us for a program led by Sound & Memory founder Concetta Abbate with Rev. Will Feinberg on the supportive role of music in loss, grief and love. The program will include guided reflection and a live music performance of solo violin and voice. Come hear some beautiful music, and explore the ways that music can aid us through life’s challenges.

Grief Party
Monday April 7th
Doors Open 6:00PM
Event Starts 7:00PM
Joe’s Pub | The Public Theatre
425 Lafayette Street
New York, NY
10003
Tix $30

A dynamic evening of song, comedy, live art, and stories about one of the most crucial parts of our humanity, our grief. Co-hosted by actor Mara Wilson, known for her childhood actings roles as Matilda (1996) and as Natalie in Mrs. Doubtfire (1993). Also co-hosted by French Hornist, writer and performance artist Kyra Sims. Sound & Memory founder, Concetta Abbate, will offer a performance of violin and voice reflecting on the loss in loving memory of her friend Bean Haskell.

RSVP

If you’re seeking music for a funeral or memorial service in honor of a loved one, feel free to reach out. Sound & Memory creates custom music programs across genres. You can learn more about our live music offerings at this link.

Memorial Music Offerings

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE

When I dig out my old white Samsung, feeling its chipped edges and revive it on a charger, I go straight to the audio list. There, I find two recordings of Abuela (my grandmother) and me in conversation about Villas Clara, Cuba. Since she passed away in 2018 at the age of 97 those old recorded conversations sound like music to my ears. Some of my favorite memories include singing old Cuban classics with Abuela at the Castle Hill Nursing Home. Our favorite was “El Bodeguero” by Beny Moré. I would sing the part about drinking chocolate, but she responded with the part of paying what we owe.

Abuelo (my grandfather), who died in 2013 at the age of 93, made sure to call us every year to play Happy Birthday on harmonica, even though he lived close by. He could play a melody after hearing it once, he was also a beautiful painter. We always loved his mini holiday concerts, surrounded by the Christmas regalia he so proudly put up.

It was six of us in a one bedroom apartment. My sibling and I were raised on arroz con frijoles, pan con mantequilla in the mornings and biweekly visits from cousins. The soundtrack in Abuelo’s Toyota was a mix of classical music, salsa, American pop, and timeless 70s disco. The car was cramped to say the least.

I remember one tiny moment of solitude in my grandparentsʼ bedroom. The black radio on the dresser, with its worn out dial, led me to 94.7. Through the static of the speaker, I heard a song that was not in Spanish or English. All I remember was that it sounded African and my ten year old self sat mesmerized.

Years later I was on a path to study Music Education through classical percussion. These times brought lessons I was grateful for but left me yearning for music rooted in my Latin American heritage. I left the confines of the practice room for the rush of a day job to carve out more time for musical exploration. During this time, I lost my grandfather and a few years later, my grandmother. I was not prepared for the other types of losses that followed.

During those subsequent years I lost sight of why I loved music, close friends, and students. I became wound up in the dynamics of manipulative romantic partners. I lost the little time I spent with my father in person. My wounded spirit began to reach out. My wounded spirit yearned for guidance amidst gargantuan emotions and grief.

I never imagined the wonderful company this part of the journey would bring. Along came new teachers, bandmates, friends and opportunities. The bands Mother Tongue, Inti and the Moon, The Hiban and others taught me so much about music for the people and music from the Earth. Artists like Heather Maloney, Iron and Wine, Ibeyi, Marta Gomez, Fatoumata Diawara, and so many others carried me through long hikes in Hudson County, New Jersey and NYC. These experiences of playing, walking and listening provided the space for me to process past grief. Another way I have processed grief is through learning about my Cuban , Peruvian roots.

On a cloudy October day in 2015, past a door with slightly rusted hinges, I received my first cajón lesson. Sebastian Guerrero told me the Afro Peruvian story of Amador Ballumbrosio and the legacy that followed through his large family in El Carmen, Perú. He taught me the dance in rhythms such as festejo and lando. I loved falling in love with rhythms that echoed those who came before us. Mauricio Herrera from Holguin, Cuba, gave me a thread of Yorubaʼs cantos that I still carry with me today. Valerie Naranjo taught me of Ghanaʼs history in gyil music and how they celebrate their ancestors by playing it.

I am now a musician and a preschool teacher. My early childhood students have given me a space to create songs, stories and games that center Afro Latin folklore and ancestry through percussion.

Musicians use music as a way to keep both their ancestors and the legacy of great musicians of the past alive. As Ganavya sang, musicians “draw something beautiful in the holes that were punched into your heart”. As a musician, I hope that I can draw something beautiful in your heart no matter how great the loss or how crippling the grief.

Carmen Arrojo is a percussionist, singer and preschool teacher. She was born in Jersey City, New Jersey to a Peruvian father and a mother of Cuban descent. Carmen started her musical journey at the age of fifteen through marimba and went on to play Latin percussion professionally with bands such as Inti and the Moon . She uses her percussion experience to provide positive experiences for children. She is on the path to creating a curriculum for young ones and adults alike centered in ancestral music from different parts of the world and hopes to also contribute to local communities amidst the ever changing nation.

You can learn more about Carmen’s work on her Instagram: @CarmenArrojo and Youtube Channel: @CarmenArrojo1583

Carmen Arrojo on Instagram

Carmen Arrojo on Youtube

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE

Pet Loss: Music Across the Rainbow Bridge.

How can music help us celebrate our pets, honor them and connect with their memory?

Saturday February 22nd at 11:00am

Phoenicia Public Library

48 Main St, Phoenicia, NY

The event is FREE but registration is required!

To register please email: fstaff@phoenicialibrary.org

Music to be Remembered By

We’ll be looking at the transformative power of music in times of loss.

Sunday February 23rd at 3:00pm

The Good Work Institute

65 St James St, Kingston NY 12401

Tickets $25

You reserve tickets at this link

RSVP February 23rd

If you’re seeking to offer music oriented death positive workshops at your space of worship or community center, feel free to reach out!

Workshop Offerings

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE

1. How has music worked as a tool for processing your own grief and loss?

The processing of grief has played a significant role in my development as a composer. When I was young, music functioned to express myself above all else. I would create music based on my thoughts or my feelings, it was all very self-oriented. As I grew older, and life began taking more than it gave, my creative approach drastically changed. The first grief-inspired music I wrote came in response to the murder of my best friend in 2012 - an unexpected blow that also coincided with being displaced from my home in NYC due to Hurricane Sandy. This music was less about expression and more about awareness, realization, and surrender.

The missing pieces that accompanied the loss of my friend have remained permanent but have likewise allowed some insight into the need to live with the emptiness and honor it as a monument. I continue to compose pieces of music in memorial to lost loved ones with an acute awareness that time is brief, unpredictable, joyous, and unrelenting.

I believe it is important to allow grief to have its place, I believe it is important to remember those who die, I believe that the resistance of pain only magnifies its damage. In the empty spaces left by those who die, I believe it is essential to accept our grief while surrendering our pain. From a creative standpoint, this has taken the form of distillation. I am in the final stages of publishing my first book, “Simply, Patiently, Quietly”, which goes into detail on this idea - being aware of the smaller things, being still long enough to feel as much as you see and hear, leaving nothing but what needs to be there – in this creative space, we may use our lives to honor everyone and everything around us.

Watch "A Single Cloth" on YouTube

2. How has being a musician impacted your relationship with your own mortality?

My journey as a musician and composer continues to clarify the need for living with intention. Growing older is an honor, and as I approach mortality more and more, my music documents the adventure of life. Playing music has offered me countless opportunities to learn from wonderful people, travel to amazing destinations, and explore the wondrous passage of time.

The unpredictability of mortality can be seen as frightening. I am often reminded of novelist Anne Brontë’s final words to her sister before passing away:

“Take courage”

I think about what courage really is, and how fear comes into that picture. I have come to believe that courage is not the absence of fear, but the disarming of fear through love. While I am alive, I hope I can make music that functions this way. When I am to die, I hope my fear is disarmed and my courage is resonant.

3. What is the value musicians can bring to both a death and grief avoidant culture?

I take great musical influence from poet Phillis Wheatley Peters’ elegies. Written in the 1700s for members of her community during her time as an enslaved person in the colonies, PWP beautifully articulates deeply felt empathy, engagement, hope, and courage. I believe the artist’s role in any given culture is, in part, to offer perspectives on the difficult or painful elements of life.

We will all die, and we will all experience grief while we are alive. It’s imperative for musicians to frame these natural occurrences in such a way that the culture may relate on a personal level and find ways into discussing/understanding them.

NYC based guitarist/composer Charlie Rauh has been invited to be resident composer by such organizations as The Rauschenberg Foundation, The Klaustrid Foundation, Louisiana State University, and The Chen Dance Center. His work as a soloist has been supported by grants from Meet The Composer, New York Foundation For The Arts, and The Fractured Atlas Group. Rauh’s approach to solo guitar composition takes inspiration from folk lullabies, plainchant, and the imagery of various poets ranging from the Brontës to Anna Akhmatova. Acoustic Guitar Magazine notes that “Charlie Rauh plays guitar with a quiet intensity, each note and chord ringing with purpose...With these lullabies Rauh gives a gentle reminder that playing soft and slow can be more impactful than loud and fast.

YOU CAN LISTEN TO CHARLIE RAUH’S MUSIC ON DESTINY RECORDS HERE:

Theoria (2023)

A Hymn to the Morning (2023)

The Bluebell (2020)

If you’re seeking music for a funeral or memorial service in honor of a loved one, feel free to reach out. Sound & Memory creates custom music programs across genres. You can learn more about our live music offerings at this link.

Memorial Music Offerings

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE

I am excited to announce that I have received my national certification as a Respecting Choices® Advanced Care Plan Facilitator.

Creating an Advanced Directive can be the most difficult part of End of Life Planning. It is a document that communicates our wishes should we experience an illness or accident that leaves us unable to communicate for ourselves. Your health care proxy is your advocate in this situation.

By having an in-depth one hour long conversation with a facilitator (me), you and your health care proxy, we will address questions and concerns and craft your advanced care plan. This candid conversation will support you in clearly communicating your wishes to your health care agent so that they are prepared should you be unable to make medical decisions for yourself.

Respecting Choices® is an internationally recognized, evidence-based system for person-centered decision making that transforms the healthcare culture by honoring an individual’s goals and values. Through this facilitated conversation your health care proxy will feel more confident in making decisions for you.

Discussing End of Life Plans early on alleviates doubt, feelings of guilt and uncertainty. It is one of the greatest gifts you can leave for family and friends.

To book an appointment email us at: Music@SoundandMemory.com

Creating an advanced directive is just one element of creating a robust end of life plan for you and your loved ones. Sound & Memory can also facilitate exploring options for memorial, legacy and documenting one’s life work. Learn more at our Death Doula Services Page.

Death Doula Services

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

Donate to Sound & Memory

His daughter Anna Keenan rededicated his grave site in 2019. We gathered at the Queen of Peace Cemetery in Stamford, Connecticut with a brand new plaque that read,

I was fascinated to learn that even though his daughter Anna grew up without her father she too became a talented drummer. She drew so much inspiration from her father’s career success as a musician and felt that live music would be an essential part of this memorial service.

I was thrilled when I got the phone call. I remember listening to the album “Time Has Come Today” , a gold LP on Columbia records. How do you do justice paying homage to a famous musician? Anna and I worked together to choose a set of traditional Irish tunes that reflected ancient familial roots. These included Parting Glass, Homes of Donegal, God Save Ireland, Danny Boy and When Irish Eyes are Smiling.

It was a beautiful sunny day, the priest read some traditional Irish blessings. It was a reminder that death does not just happen once but lives with us throughout our lives. It’s never too late to re-visit a loss, interact with it and relate to it in a new way through poetry, art and a musical offering.

If you’re seeking music for a funeral or memorial service in honor of a loved one, feel free to reach out. Sound & Memory creates custom music programs across genres. You can learn more about our live music offerings at this link.

Memorial Music Offerings

⭐️ Give the gift of music to the bereaved

⭐️ Support death positive public programs delivered through music

⭐️ Sponsor a person in need of death doula support (end of life planning and legacy building)

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to Sound and Memory

DONATE